Divorces , higher in developed nations.

I often hear people criticize the very high rates of divorce in the west–-particularly,
in the United States–-as being an example of all that’s wrong with the culture; they claim,
it reveals the lack of familial bonds, the superficiality of love and emotions,
the selfish me-centricism, and just the general decadence of the culture.

However, when I see the alarmingly low rates of divorce in other cultures – where divorce is a societal taboo,
such as in Japan, India, and China – I see the rampant disregard for individual human rights
(especially in the case of women), I see individuals choking under societal and familial pressure to
remain in suffocating relationships, I see individuals racked with emotional guilt for having extra-marital
affairs in the dark, for entering and remaining in marriages despite being gay, I see children growing up
with psychological scars from seeing their parents quarrel and fight before their own eyes, I see teenagers
rebelling against their parents and running away with their lovers or friends to escape the nightmare of
their homes occupied with two individuals who hate each other, I see youth engaging in frivolous sex and
self-destructive relationships unconsciously mimicking the failed and forced relationships their parents had,
I see women being raped by their husbands, men being forced into alcoholism and escapist hedonism,
I see a political society that gets increasingly moralistic and paternal because it believes that
morality must be forced upon people and that people are inherently evil, immoral, unruly, or savages.

Japan has the highest rates of suicide in the world. India has the highest number of people with AIDS
than any other country in the world.

Both Japan and India have very low divorce rates; but do not presume that this low rate reflects the
strong cultural values of marriage and love and relationships in these countries. Indeed, I argue,
it is quite the opposite.

In a sense, high divorce rates are good; in fact, it is an almost reliable indicator of a healthy and
prosperous culture that respects individual rights and allows individuals the space and freedom to BREATHE!

Marriage is only valuable, good, and moral to the extent that the individuals involved in it, make it so.
In other words, two individuals could be “live-in” partners and yet have a much stronger relationship than
some average married couple. It is not the nature of a relationship that lends it a certain moral value
but the individuals involved in it. People bring in value to a relationship, not some abstract notion of marriage.
Entering into marriage – being married – by default does not mean you are in some “valuable” and “serious”
relationship and must act accordingly. Within or without marriage, a couple (or group of individuals) can
still have a very meaningful and valuable relationship. Thus, I am not necessarily arguing for the position that
divorce is good or marriage is bad. To me, they are equally meaningless without considering the nature of individuals
involved.

Show me a culture with high divorce rates and I will show you a culture that’s prosperous, healthy, and free.

Marrying is certainly not a duty or an obligation – let alone an ethical one. Marriage is entirely optional,
and should be done with focused deliberation. Whether people enter into marriages solely depends on their
personal preferences in the matter (surely also with regard to the socio-political situation in their society).

A very apt quote by Morton Hunt that I include here:

Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages,
but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it.